Chapter Sixteen: Blast from the Past

I remembered sitting on my bed trying to remember what more I needed to pack. I knew we were going to be coming back to the house after Paris but I had to make sure I had everything. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to find I had a text from someone. I opened up the text and smiled when I saw it was from Neal. It read: "Hey El! How are you? Sorry I haven't called in a while! I hope you're having loads of fun and I can't wait to hear from you!"

I felt a warmth encompass me. It had taken a while for Neal and I to become friends. Mostly because I just fought him tooth and nail. I thought he was too nice and to be honest hitting me in the face with a door and then calling me Ellouise was not the way to get on my good side. I remember the day after that Neal had asked our French teacher if he could switch his seat so he would be sitting next to me. I glared at him hardcore that day. I didn't like Neal all that much back then. Slowly he wormed his way into my heart and he'd become one of my best friends there.

I think our defining moment would've had to be when I had been sitting alone at lunch. I'd been sitting in a corner booth all by myself. I swear I repulsed people because no one sat even near me. Doesn't inspire much confidence in yourself when it seems like no one wants to be around you. Neal and his huge group of friends sat on one of the big tables not to far from where I sat. Many days at lunch I would catch him staring at me. I would also look away with my heart beginning to ache because of the pity I saw in his eyes. Sometimes it made me angry. Although that day, I remember sitting there eating my lunch when someone sat down in front of me. I jumped startled that someone would even want to sit next to me but when I saw who it was, I was even more surprised. It was Neal and he was smiling at me. I rose my brows quizzically and he chuckled. Then I asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm eating. What does it look like?" he replied.

"No I mean what are you doing sitting with me? Your friends are staring and so is everyone else. No one sits by me, I'm the freak," I whispered still staring at him.

He swiveled in his seat looking at everyone. When his eyes met someone's they would quickly look away and go back to what they were doing. Finally his eyes came back to me and he said, "I want to eat with you. No one should eat all alone and like I said a while back, I want to be your friend. If you'll let me, Ella." He didn't say anything else as if that settled everything. I continued to stare at him throughout lunch. I couldn't believe him. Why was he committing this status quo suicide? He was like captain of the football team and everyone loved him. I'd learned more about him throughout the past month or so. It just didn't make any sense. I was the freak and he was the jock even though I was a jock too but no one treated me like one. I was an outsider on almost every level... It didn't make sense. When he would catch me staring incredulously at him still, he would just smile.

When lunch was over, he walked me to my class. Slowly he got me to talk and answer his questions about myself. I came to find we had much in common and I started to warm up to him over the weeks. He had such a sweet disposition and I swear every time I found myself in an awkward position, he would rush in to save me. I used to tease him in the beginning of our friendship that he was my "Knight in Shining Armor". He used to just laugh and shrug it off. I remember the time he first saw my room. It was during Homecoming I remember it very well.

Neal had been slowly worming his way into my life and heart for about a month when Homecoming week was suddenly upon us. I had no plans on going to any of the special activities the school had planned for the week. Except for the things meant specifically for Seniors. I remember Monday night chilling in my room, listening to my tunes, when someone knocked on my bedroom door. "Come in," I called out. I was laying on my bed upside down. So my feet were up on my wall tapping out the beat to Stand Up by the boys and my head was by the foot board of my bed. I had my eyes closed and when I heard the door open and shut then silence. I turned to look to see who entered and when my eyes met Neal's I sat up so quick that I knocked over my lamp on the table next to my bed. He just stared at me and the posters of the boys all over my walls. His mouth slightly open from shock. "What are you doing here?" I snapped.

His eyes shot back to mine and he blushed brightly. "I... um... Your mom said you were in your room and I could come down to get you for the school thing tonight for Homecoming Week," he replied.

"Oh...." then it became silent and extremely awkward. I put my lamp back up and just sat awkwardly on my bed. Neal continued to stand by my door looking around at all my posters. "Uh... Neal. What are we even doing tonight?" I asked trying to get him to stop looking at my posters of One Direction. I wasn't ashamed, I loved them so much but this was my personal space and Neal had just intruded. I was feeling very unbalanced.

His shocking blue eyes snapped back to my sea-blue ones. I had to keep myself from catching my breath. I'd forgotten how amazingly gorgeous Neal was. You could definitely tell the Greek in him from the way his dark brown hair curled like some Greek Hero and his strong jawline only more defined from the dark stubble on it. His skin was dark, darker than mine. He was muscular in all the right places and the definition showed in the t-shirt he wore. I consciously tucked a lock of my curls behind my ear as he registered what I'd asked him and I kept from blushing at the sight of him. "We have the movie on the lawn tonight. I thought you might want to be my... um...would like to join me. I already have a spot set up at the school. I brought a couch and some blankets. Would you like to?" Neal asked.

I felt my heart flutter... Did Neal want to ask me on a date but knew I wouldn't exactly be okay with that just   yet? I snapped out of my reminiscing and began to pace my room. My thoughts were going a million miles a minute.

I couldn't remember if that's what he meant or not looking back on it but thinking about that night brought the butterflies back. I immediately was confused by the present feelings I was feeling reminiscing about mine and Neal's relationship. I was head-over-heels for Harry! What was going on?! That night at the movie on the lawn was amazing. Neal had put his arm around me and I'd allowed it. I never let Neal get too far. I always kept him at an arm's length away. I never understood why until now. I was obsessed with something to happen with one of the guys from One Direction and now I was here in the same house with them and falling head over heels for one but reliving memories of my best guy friend in the world. I finally understood how much pain I'd put Neal through. He'd fallen for me and I'd pushed him away because of a fantasy I never even knew would actually come true.

Now that it had, I felt like I'd cheated Neal out of something special... What kind of friend was I?! It hurt to think of how sweet, endearing, and patient Neal had been throughout our Senior year. He was my friend, there for me through the entire year and I had been selfish. I gazed down at his text and it just proved how selfless Neal was towards me. I wondered if he knew about Harry and I yet. I almost didn't know if I could tell him the truth now that it had finally clicked that Neal had feelings for me. Everything started to come together, the puzzle was becoming whole. Tears formed in my eyes. How could I have been so selfish?! I didn't know what to think, but I had to ask Neal if he knew about Harry and I. So I dialed his number. He answered the phone with, "Hello, El, I've missed you."

I sighed a complete calm blanketing my previous worries. Just hearing his voice made me feel relaxed. I'd missed my best friend. "Hey Neal. How are you enjoying Greece?"

"It's very pretty here, El! I wish you could see it!" he replied and just hearing the joy in his voice lifted my spirits.

I smiled, "I've seen and experienced some spectacular sites as well. Neal..."

"What is it El?" Neal asked immediately knowing something was up.

I took in a deep breath... "Have you been keeping up with the tabloids?"

"No," he answered simply.

I sighed and said, "Well, there's something I need to tell you." I could here his silence and it was letting me know to continue. I stopped pacing and plopped down on my bed, suddenly exhausted. "Well a lot has happened since we last talked, like a lot a lot, Neal. For instance, Becca and Zayn are now a couple and so is Anne and Niall... And... Harry and I are together as well. I couldn't believe it myself when he was making moves and being so suave. He was working his charms the first day we were here to be honest. I finally let him in and I think I might be in love with him, Neal." Silence met my last sentence and it was intense. I could feel his pain through the phone connection and my heart began to break. I couldn't believe I was doing this to him but he had to know. Especially now since I knew how he felt about me. I loved him with all my heart and I hated hurting him but I was in love with Harry. I heard a sniff and for a shocking moment I realized Neal was crying. Hearing that sent me over the edge and the tears started to roll down my cheeks. "Neal?" I asked unsure.

I heard him take in a deep breath. "I'm so happy for you, El! So happy! You deserve all the happiness in the world! I hope he treats you well," he said. I knew it was forced happiness. It was written all over the tone of his voice. The tears started to fall faster now. I couldn't believe I was doing this to him.

"Neal, I am so happy! He's so kind and sweet! Everything I dreamed he would be and more! I really do love him and he loves me! You deserve just as much happiness as I do. I bet you've met some hot Greek girl and are head over heels for her." My happiness wasn't forced even though tears were streaming down my cheeks and my heart was aching for Neal.

He chuckled half-heartedly, "Yeah, that's what's been happening. Are you going to come see me, El? I miss you."

I took in a shaky breath. "I will talk with everyone. We are going to Paris for the next two and a half weeks and then I don't know what all the boys have planned...."

"Oh," he answered.

"I will try though. I promise! Neal..."

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you right? You're the best friend a girl could have asked for, especially someone like me. You let me in and accepted me when no one else would. You're one in a million pal and I love you," I said trying my best to cheer him up.

"I love you too, El." he replied in a somber tone. I had failed in cheering him up but at least I had tried. I heard someone calling on the other end in a language I didn't know. Neal answered back in the same language. It clicked that he'd been speaking Greek to someone. "I have to go now, El. I hope you continue to have fun. Bye."

He hung up before I could say goodbye back. I stared at my phone in my hands as tears continued to fall. For the first time in my life, I felt my heart torn between two people. For some reason that phone call had made things difficult now. Neal was my best friend and I loved him... Harry was my dream guy and I loved him with a fiery passion but which one was more realistic and which one would last longer? I didn't know the answer to that question and to find the answer I knew I would have to shatter my heart and someone else's in the process. I just didn't know anymore... Not know... I began to wonder if I ever did...