Chapter Eight: False Hope

I arrived at her apartment, nerves making my limbs wobbly. Over two times, I almost dropped our food heading into the building. Just getting to her apartment complex wasn’t easy. To get the food, I had to dodge paps and anyone else who stared for too long. I felt like a spy, even though I really wasn’t. Then there was navigating through the insanely busy streets of LA while trying to listen and follow the direction of my GPS. I was lucky I didn’t crash my car, although there was several times where I thought I just might do that. On top of it all, I was nervous about talking to Dani. I was going to have to be honest, which normally wasn’t a big deal but when your hearts on the line, I tend to keep mine private and safe. There was so much to catch up on since I’d last seen her: Niall had been in two relationships, with fans no less. Louis and Eleanor had tied the knot and Zayn had moved through three girlfriends. The only ones who hadn’t changed were Danielle and Liam, and then there was me. Well that wasn’t quite true; I had changed in a way. I was more mature; I understood myself better and what I wanted and what I didn’t want. I’d felt the tentacles of fame strangling me just after everything with Dani had occurred; I’d been forced into a relationship for publicity reasons. She was a really sweet girl, who worked hard to be where she was but there wasn’t a spark and I had felt trapped. I’d been overjoyed when it had ended, even though, through it all she’d become a good friend. I then reached apartment 2 only to realize it was 2A, she hadn’t given me the letter. I whipped out my phone and dialed her number. “Hello,” came her sing song voice.

“Hey, um… which apartment 2 are you in?” I asked teasingly.

“Oh, I forgot the letter,” she giggled. Chills ran up my spine and I felt melancholic at the sound of her laughter. “It’s 2H, so I am up on floor eight.”

“Okay, see you soon,” I chuckled.

“Yeah, see you soon, Harry,” she echoed and then hung up. I searched for the elevator then and once I found it, I pressed the ascend button. I waited not so patiently for it to arrive. My stomach was grumbling in hunger and nerves. The elevator beeped and I entered. Riding it up, I only became more anxious. So much so, that the palms of my hands had become clammy. The elevator reached the floor and dinged. I walked out and when I reached apartment 2H, I knocked. I could hear music playing on the other side of the door. The music was then turned down and I could hear the locks of the door clicking. My anticipation grew as the door swung inward and I saw… My face fell; a guy had answered the door. For a second I was worried he I had gotten the wrong room.

He gave me a puzzled look, before he called over his shoulder, “Dani, there’s someone at the door.” I knew I wasn’t mistaken then, it was the apartment Dani had told me.

She appeared around the corner and her eyes lit up exactly the way they did all those years ago. “Harry! You made it!” she exclaimed gleefully.

“Yeah,” I replied uncertainly. “I didn’t know I needed to get food for three.”

She giggled, “You didn’t. Dale was on his way out, weren’t you love?”

He nodded and put his hand out of me to shake. He was a burley guy with beefy arms and short cropped brown hair. His eyes were hazel but they seemed to hold a lot of contempt in them and immediately I felt intimidated. “Dani has told me a lot about you, Harry. It’s nice to finally meet you,” he said with a smirk on his face.

“I’m sorry that I can’t say the same. Well, Dani hasn’t mentioned you, is what I mean,” I stumbled.

He laughed and I jumped in surprise from how loud it was. Dani smiled and said, “Come on in, Harry.” I began my way in but froze when Dale gave Dani a quick kiss and wiggled his way out the door. “He has to go to work,” she said and I realized I’d been staring at Dale’s departing figure. I swallowed the lump in my throat and I could feel the back of my eyes burning. There I was thinking she’d be mind for the taking and I came to find her heart belonged to another. I was too late again. I felt like someone had jabbed a knife up my rib cage and torn my heart from my chest. I followed her into her apartment. We sat down across from each other to eat. I felt like shutting down and blowing her off by giving some lame excuse. The idea was extremely compelling and I almost gave in, but I didn’t.

I had made a promise to myself that I would do whatever it took to have Dani as my own. Dale was simply a setback that was all. I would just have to work harder and be a bit cleverer in my advances. I smiled at Dani charmingly, “Is dinner to your liking?”

She nodded, “It’s my absolute favorite.”

“I know, you told me,” I chuckled.

“Oh right,” she giggled. After that she became quiet for several minutes. “Harry,” she finally said.

“Hm...” I replied raising my eyebrows.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Dale,” she said quietly. Her crossed legs were bouncing as she played with her food. In her other hand she was rubbing her ear lobe, her brow was furrowed and she was chewing on her bottom lip. Immediately, I knew she was feeling stressed and worried.

“Dani,” I said, making her look up at me, “Stop stressing and worrying about it because I know now. How long have you two been together?’ I smiled and she relaxed. It was weird how tense she got when she hadn’t told me about her relationship with Dale. We hadn’t had the best of conversations the times we had actually seen each other.

“Four months, actually,” she replied and then she took a bite.

“Only four months and you’re already living together?” I asked, raising my eyebrows in surprise.

She shrugged, “Dale wanted to.”

I saw my opening in the shrug of her shoulders. “Didn’t you want to?” She shrugged again. “Why did you if you didn’t want to?”

“Because it’s within walking distance of my work and the college, plus it sounded like a good idea at the time,” she shrugged again.

“That doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to move in with someone. You’re missing a very important detail,” I commented with a smirk on my face.

She stared me down. “Okay then, what is a good reason and what am I missing?”

I leaned back and crossed my arms to make it appear like I was thinking. I sat up straight suddenly and her gaze shot to mine. “Love, Dani. The only reason I would ever have my girlfriend move in with me would be if we truly, deeply loved each other and were planning on spending the rest of our lives together. Only then would I consider living together.” For a long time, she just stared at me with this look of wonder on her face. Finally, I asked, “What?”

“You’ve changed, Mr. Styles,” she replied coyly.

I stared deeply into her eyes, trying to make her feel how I felt for her when I said, “You’d be surprised how much some of me hasn’t changed, Miss Sams.”

He cheeks flushed and I knew she’d received my message. She played with her food and I knew she was contemplating, so I left her and her thoughts in peace. I would win her back; I knew she still had feeling for me because neither of us had received any closure. After several minutes of silence, we had completed our meal and I began to clean up. I was throwing away the containers in the rubbish, when Dani came up behind me. I turned and started a bit at her close proximity. “Harry,” she began. “I don’t know if I should do this but…” She took a step closer and as I looked into her eyes I knew what was coming. I, as well, didn’t know if it was a good idea but you could still feel the static in the air when we were alone. Our chemical attraction was unmistakable, it was thrilling and passionate.  A single touch from her sent my body into a flurry of nerves and gooseflesh. As she placed her hand on my arm and reached up to the tip of her toes, my body reacted. I moved in closer, placed my hands on her waist and pulled her up against me. Our breaths mingled together in the heated empty space between our lips. For several seconds, we both wondered if we should really do this. I wouldn’t be hurting anyone but she was with Dale and I didn’t want to cause any problems for her. I don’t know how long we stood like that before Dani whispered, “Screw it,” and she pressed her lips against mine.

For the second time in my life, I felt like I was complete and I’d found where I’d belonged. And it was right here with Dani with her by my side I could accomplish anything and conquer everything. There was not a doubt in my mind that we were made for each other. Dale or no Dale, she was mine.

Chapter Seven: Impatience

I tossed and turned the night after. The look in her eyes haunting my thoughts. I couldn’t figure out why she had reacted the way she did. If she no longer felt the way she had said in that first email, how come she ran out the she had. She even remembered my quirks. How could someone remember those things if they still didn’t feel something for that person. I, myself, could still remember when she was stressed out she would bounce her legs and chew on the inside of her bottom lip. When she was concerned her brow would furrow and she’d rub her right earlobe with her thumb and forefinger. I could still remember the way her eyes lit up every time she saw me or the way her voice sounded on the phone and I would immediately recognize the smile in her voice; the way her melodic rang in my ears and echoed throughout a room. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, I still remember her as if three years ago had happened yesterday. I knew she was still in love with her, as much now as then. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck would stand on end, just when I would think about her. As I started to feel my eyes droop that night, my alarm blared. It was time to get up already and go to rehearsals. Crap! I haven’t received a wink of sleep. I was definitely going to be a space cadet today, I thought.

I quickly got dressed and raced down to where we all got in the car and headed to the arena to rehearse. On the way we grabbed some McDonald’s and ate in the car. When we arrived, we were rushed in and got all set up and plugged in so we could properly rehearse. Niall was joking and laughing around with Josh and the other band members, while I was getting hooked up with my in ears.  We got in position and then my mind just wandered. I couldn’t stop thinking about Dani and all the things I probably missed out on with her and if she still even loved me. I couldn’t get her out of my mind and it was trying to figure out how to get her back, but I just didn’t know how.

Someone slugged me in the arm and I jumped coming out of my thoughts. I’d been in the midst of remembering what I’d been thinking about last night and with that slug in the arm, I finally came to a conclusion. She was still in love with me! My heart soared and my stomach leapt. I felt like jumping in the air and running around in circles while singing the sappiest love songs to the boys. There was nothing that could stop me now. I knew she loved me that was the only answer, nothing else fit. Suddenly, I was hit in the arm again and Louis said, “Oi! Harry! Earth to Harry! C’mon man, we’re trying to rehearse for the concert and you keep missing all your ques!”

“Sorry,” I mumbled. We’d been rehearsing all morning and we were about to take a break for lunch. I couldn’t believe how fast the time had passed and how I hadn’t been here mentally all morning long. I couldn’t even quite remember getting here. I’d been so absorbed with my thoughts of Dani that I’d completely tuned out everyone else.

“Are you alright, mate?” Niall asked concerned as he stood by me. I nodded and then he added, “I ask because you just don’t seem all here today.”

“Yeah, I am stuck in my head,” I agreed. He went to say something else but the music started and I made sure I focused on what I was supposed to do this time. An hour or two later, a bunch of pizza boxes were delivered and as they came in the doors we could hear the fans outside.

When it reached us, Niall exclaimed, “Awesome!!! I’m absolutely starving!” Before eating, I went to Paul and got Dani’s number from him. As I was walking away, I finally thought it odd that he would have Dani’s number. I decided to ask him later because right then I was just as hungry as everyone else. Also, if I wanted some pizza, I needed to get it now. I could see from where I was that Niall was going to eat until he was bursting.

After we finished eating, we did a couple more hours of rehearsal and then we had the rest of the day off. In the car heading back to the hotel, I sent a text to Dani. It simply read: “Hey, it’s Harry. Paul gave me your number. Idk how he got it but he does… To keep this short… We need to talk. I am free for the rest of the day. Plz get back to me. X J”  I hovered over the send button, taking in a deep breath I tapped on it.

Shortly after, we arrived at the hotel. We entered through the back door. All the boys wanted to spend some time swimming then. I’d agreed, knowing that going for a swim would be loads of fun. We snuck our way to the elevators and headed up. We were walking down the hall when Paul said, “Get ready to go to the pool but wait until we have cleared it out before you come down. You’ll know when.” We all nodded, showing we understood. It was normal procedure and after five years, we were all used to it.

We all separated to go into our separate suites. I entered mine with a sigh then tried to search through my mess of a bag for my swimming trunks. Once I found them, I quickly changed into them, grabbed a towel, threw on a tank top and headed out to the living room. I put my work phone on the hutch and my iPod while I kept my personal phone on my person. I was hoping Dani would reply soon and I wanted to keep it close just in case she did. My work phone buzzed and I checked it to see an “all clear” from Paul.

As I exited, I met up with the boys and we made our way, along with our security guys to the pool. We had to pass by a bunch of fans. They were all screaming or hollering for us to sign something or take a picture with them. I was feeling gracious, so I signed a few things and took several pictures. All the other guys were doing the same. You could tell a lot of the fans were freaking out because we were all in our swim wear. I found that amusing. We tore ourselves away and waved goodbye as we entered the pool area.

As I placed my towel on a lounge chair and proceeded to take off my tank top, my phone buzzed. My heart began to pound as I brought it up so I could see who it was from. I felt disappointed that it wasn’t from Dani but happy to hear from my sister, Gemma. Since I knew she didn’t expect a reply from me for a while, I placed my phone on my towel and proceeded to go to the pool. I tossed my tank top on the chair as well and turned to get in the pool. Niall and Louis were already rough housing and the pool area echoed with their laughter.

Once in the pool, I joined in on the messing around. Before we knew it, all of our stomachs were growling with hunger pains. Only when it became unbearable did we decide to get out and get something to eat. Drying off my torso and hair, I heard Niall laughing over the fact that Liam had slipped and fell back in the pool. The rest of us were chuckling and I put my tank top back on after I’d wrapped my towel around my waist.

I picked up my phone and began to check it. There were two new messages, one from my mum and another from Gemma. I felt my heart sink just a bit more when there wasn’t anything from Dani. I replied back to both my mum and Gemma as we left the pool. Niall and Louis were trying to decide what we should eat. Niall usually had to think of all his options when we were in LA because there wasn’t a Nandos in America.

When we reached our floor, I excused myself from their decision making to go shower. While in the shower, I felt anxious. Why wasn’t she answering my text? Was she ignoring me like I did to her for all those years? I really needed to speak with her before I headed back to London. I finished my shower and quickly got dressed. I felt jittery like I needed to constantly keep myself occupied. I headed to Niall’s room, which was where we had decided on meeting to eat.

On my way there, my personal phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and when I read who it was from, my heart constricted and my stomach flipped. I stopped walking and opened the message from Dani. It read: “You’re right. We do need to talk. I’m free in about thirty minutes. Do you want to meet somewhere or you come here or I there?”

I looked up to see Paul heading my way, “Hey Paul,” I said. He acknowledged me by looking at me and I continued, “Is there any way I can go out tonight?”

Paul nodded, “Yes, just as long as Andy goes with you.”

“Oh… uh… well I was hoping to go lone wolf because I am going to be seeing Dani,” I said.

His eyebrows rose in understanding. “I see… Well it’s just we don’t want you to get mauled by fans or the paps.”

“What if I were to pick up some take out and go to her place?” I countered.

Paul nodded and smiled, “Yes that should work. Should I have your car pulled up?”

I nodded and thanked him. For a split second I thought it strange to have one of my cars here but then again it was known that I would want to use one. Normally when we were in America, I liked to go off on my own. I continued on to Niall’s room to let the boys know I wouldn’t be joining them for dinner. On my way there I sent a reply to Dani. It said: “How about we do it at your place? That way we won’t be bothered. How do you feel about Chinese?”

As I entered Niall’s room, my phone buzzed with her answer. “Alright, I live in Apartment 2 of the Glendhill complex. You can GPS it ;) also make sure you get take out from Pei Wei (it’s Thai but it works) and I love the Kung Pao chicken with broccoli ;)” I laughed at how specific she had to be. I was more than happy to oblige her though.

“What are you chuckling, Haz?” Louis asked.

“Dani,” I simply answered. The all gave me curious looks and I added, “Oh also, I won’t be eating with you guys tonight. I am going over to her place. We need to have a chat. She was telling me what she wanted and from where for dinner.”

Louis raised his eyebrows up and down teasing me. I ignored him and replied to Dani’s text. I said: “Alright lol, so I’ll show up around 6 then?” I looked back up at Louis and the other who were mocking what I’d just been doing. “Ha ha, very funny,” I said with sarcasm.

“So, I have a question,” Zayn said. I nodded and he continued, “Do you still have like feelings for her?”

I paused to seem like I was thinking even though every fiber of my being was screaming, YES! “Yes, I believe I am still very much in love with her,” I replied. The boys then wolf whistled and teased me to no end. I just shook my head and said, “I have to get going. She’s waiting for me.” They teased even more, I just shook my head and walked out the door. I was on my way to Dani. I’d promised myself years ago that if I ever found her, there was no way I was ever going to let her go again. That was a promise I intended to keep and bring to pass somehow that day.