I was still sitting on my bed staring at my phone with tears streaming down my cheeks and confusion rumbling around in my head, when someone knocked on my door. I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks and shoved my phone in my pocket while rushing to make myself look like I'd been packing the entire time. "El?" Came Harry's inquire.
"In here! I'm just trying to finish up packing for Paris. I don't want to miss anything," I replied. I heard the door open and I wasn't surprised about the butterflies and heat rushing to my face just hearing him say my name. I really did love Harry and I wanted to spend every moment with him! But now there was this tugging on my heart for Neal. It just didn't make sense and it was really unfair to Harry. I didn't know what to think or what to do. No wait I take that back, I did know what to do and it was to save all this turmoil for later. So I filed away what I was feeling for Neal until I could examine it more closely on my own time. I was holding up a shirt when Harry wrapped his arms around my waist, kissed my neck, then rested his chin on my shoulder. I sighed. He was so endearing and sweet, I loved him so much! I leaned back in his embrace dropping the shirt I was holding, I turned in his arms so I could look at him. When our eyes met electricity was imminent. I felt my heart skip a beat and I knew he was my forever man but what about.... I shook my thoughts subconsciously. I had never felt this with Neal. He'd always been kind but the electricity, the fiery passion had never been present with Neal.
I placed one of my hands on Harry's cheek and was about to go on my tip-toes to kiss him, when he asked, "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying..." His hand came up from around my waist to trace the tracks my tears had left on my cheek. His eyebrows knitted together with concern.
I turned my head and kissed his palm and then said, "I was on the phone with Neal. It upset me more than I thought it would telling him about us. I didn't realize until today that he had feelings for me. He's one of my best friends Harry. Hearing the pain in his voice hurt me a lot more than I thought it would." The tears started to fall again down my cheeks. His eyebrows still knitting together from his concern. He pressed his lips gently against my forehead and I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his chest crying my eyes out. He held me for as long as I needed him to while the tears fell. I thought I had exhausted myself from all the crying, but I still had more in me.
"El, love, did you care for him?" Harry asked hesitantly as he continued to stroke my hair comforting.
I pulled away to look him in the eyes. "He's my best friend, Harry, of course I care for him. He was there for me when I felt alone and he showed me love and concern. He was my knight in shining armor." My eyes averted from Harry's to stare at the front of his shirt.
I saw it rise and fall as he took in a deep breath. "He'll get over it, El. If he cares for your friendship and loves you, he will come back to you," he comforted.
"You really think so?" I asked hopefully gazing into Harry's green eyes. He smiled endearingly and I felt my heart swell with love for him. I knew his answer without him having to speak. We'd gotten to that stage in our relationship where we could just look at each other and I knew what he wanted to say. It was amazing and I loved him so much. Standing there with Harry there was not a doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with him forever or for ever how long we were meant to be together. He was everything I wanted and I felt the fullness of my life and the happiness I felt with him. The only nagging doubt in the back of my mind was that of Neal. I knew there was something unresolved there and I had to get rid of that nagging doubt somehow. I just didn't know how yet.
I looked up into Harry's eyes once more and he smiled down at me. "Can I make a confession?" he asked.
I nodded, my stomach suddenly erupting with butterflies as my sensed recognized the seriousness of what he was about to say. He smiled but I could sense his nerves as his arms wrapped around me tightened their grip. His eyes glistened with love and it made it difficult to hold his gaze. "I love you so much, El. I want you to be happy whether it is with me or someone else. While I want to be selfish and keep you here with me forever I know that might not be possible. You have college starting in about a month and a half. Separation will be hard and different. Do you think we can last through it?" I could tell he'd given a lot of thought into this and I wanted to give him an honest answer.
"I don't know Harry. I want with all my heart and soul to say yes, we can make it but I honestly don't know. You have a tour starting, so we wouldn't be able to see each other much anyways. I want us to last just as long as you do." I ran my hand over his head, brushing the curls for a moment off his forehead. He smiled lovingly and I returned the look. "We will figure it out. I know we will because we love each other. We just have to take a leap of faith and hopefully by taking chances and making sacrifices we will make it."
He smiled down at me and bent his head forward as he pressed his lips against mine. I slowly ran my hands up his chest to wrap them around his neck as the kiss deepened. I sighed behind his lips and grinned. He pulled away slightly to where our lips were just barely touching and he whispered, "How did I get so lucky?"
I giggled and replied, "I'm the lucky one."
"On the contrary, I am the lucky one. You are everything I never thought to even ask for and yet I still have you," he whispered as he pressed his lips against mine again. I held him close savoring each placement of his hands on my back and waist, and each gentle brush of his lips against mine. I was on cloud nine and had been for the last month. I still couldn't believe my luck and the fact that we were each madly in love with the other was something I thought I would ever get to experience with anyone. I loved Harry with all my heart and soul. A thought of Neal tugged in the back of my mind but I thought, Neal is my friend. Harry is my lover. There is a difference of love I have for each of them. It's Harry. It has always been Harry. I sighed once more and then grinned. Harry grinned as well as he placed another kiss on my lips.
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